I am Very Scaredd

Baba, Suddenly i lost sleep...... I just cannot sleep.. I am scared of a future without you..~~ I Have lost the confidence that i can manage without you.... U must be seeing baba... Your Bday was the most difficult day for most of us...... First time ur Bday without you..... First time Shiva and jaya in different cities ...... Teju is completely broken down...... He cannot handle deaths anymore.. he is become very sensitive baba.... I am scared where i am neglecting him...... Apart from my MBA i talk to jaya every day.. Shiva almost every second day... Now making sure i talk to teju also everyday..... I keep in touch with rohit decently... Chinna aamagaru have been detected with cancer..... Now a days i talk to her recently..........Why is life so difficult baba? I keep thinking of those writings that i found.... U wrote something like i will not be attached to anyone much..... it seems impossible baba...... i am attached to brother and our family like hell...... matlab i only know how i am livin without u ...... All of us are keepin ourselves so busy that we do not have time to think about ourselves only.... But baba, somethin is not right...... And something is not going right..... I have not slept in like 5 days nw...... You have been seeing and am still not tired, instead i m super tensed..... Something somewhere is not going right...... Will you please make it right for me baba?? please!!