Trip to HYD

Baba, are u even seeing what pain u gave each one of us? Met Gurugaru today, Could not contain our tears. I dont know baba what it is to dead,, there is too much of mystery involved with death.. i want to believe that you wanted to live, u did not want to go away without seeing my wedding or without seeing shiva being a good and a successful lawyer. Oh baba how nice things would have been if u were still here.. just a few more years.! Trust me baba, none of us are happy... we are trying to move on in life, if u listen to our conv there is not one instance where we dont take ur name , where we dont wish u were here... Life is really difficult. And with us being there without u, its impossible.. I could not stand and describe your last moments in Hospital.. i could not just do it today :( There were so many people there asking about you, i sm not okay with you going away...

Now baba, i really do not want to say come back but i have nothing else to say !!

Vijay Baba

Baba, i am meeting your brother..... This saturday i m going to hyderabad to meet him and it is going to be very difficult. Not because he will pose any difficult questions or make problems, u know no one would that.. just that il see him and pedda baba and i cant help but think about you.... Last time we met at Vijay baba;s gruhapravesh, i remember you telling me look like a proper telugu ammai...... dont wear sleeveless.. And i remember vijay baba telling you that you should go n see Mano akka in USA.... :)

I remember him scolding you and that very evening we went to get all the tests done.. Oh baba, u were such an adoring kid.... i stopped writing to you in between.. i could not gather enuf courage.... Well baba i must say Jaya is such a sweetheart..... he just becomes animated or happy as soon as he sees shiva...... These 2 twins cannot be apart... I have no idea how the future is gonna be .... Teju is giving his CAT tomorrow.. Please be with him..... I started acceptng the fact that you are not going to be around anymore nor can i get you back, but still the longing never goes.!!! Life is like that....

I read what you have written as an imposition for yourself.. i will follow as much as i can...Life is temporary and i will not have many attachments...... But Baba, i am hopelessly attached to brothers and mom now...... i cannot ever refuse or say a no to them.. This weekend i was not going, i was supposed to be there on dec 9th but jaya called saying if i come this weekend i can meet shiva and all 4 of us are going to be under one roof again........ I miss my old life dearly baba.... told u na any price to be living that life i had !! Literally anything !!!

miss you

Baba, See the change.. I know its not long since u left. but now it feels like its ages since u left us! Shiva has grown up a lot baba !! A LOT !! I miss our old life.. As long as you were here, we were all under one roof ! Once u left, all of us had to leave.. for now teju amma and jaya are there in Gandhinagar !!

6 months!

All the times i used to tell you baba, these are the last few months that i ll be home, cos after that i ll be off for my MBA and after that ull get me married.... u remember how u used to react.. "ammo dont remind me"... You are lucky u know baba.. u need not know the pain of how it is to live after i am gone... u r lucky that u r elder to me... though i know u had ur own share of agonies in life... But i always think what we had was special...... I dunno may be every father daughter relationship is special. but i believe urs n mine were something definitely more than special.. i was treated like a princess... every decision wud be done only after i give an approval to it... you would never refuse anything if i ask...... Baba who can treat me like u did??? I miss u and i miss u like crazy !!