How i wish you were there... How i wish you visited me at Mumbai....! Today mom was asking me what would i do if you came to Mumbai.. probably baba i would not leave you at all..... i would pick you up from airport, come to court and be there all the time with you.. Mee gundelu meeda kaalu petti leka mee meesalu peeke enni rojulu ayyindi baba ! Everyone knows how close i am and everyone thinks i am very strong baba.. Except you and me for now, no one knows..... No one knows what it is to live like this.. Living is something you also dont know now ! you did not have to live long without your mom and dad baba..! i do the same things u used to do... U told me once, whenever you get reminded of your mom, u meditate.. u say Om Namah shivayah and it gives you peace.... Baba i do the same thing.. At that moment it does give some kind of distraction but after that? For how long? the heartache of losing you..it kills baba.. not just hurts ! So many What if''s come to my mind... What if you were alive and shiva was doing law.... What if you were alive and then i got married, how would you deal with it? Is it hurting you as much as its hurting me? If only you could see shiva argue his case.. If only you could see me getting an MBA degree.. If only you could attend my wedding.. If only i could give you a hug....... If only i am given just another chance to see and talk to you.. .. If only ....
But your departure only left me more attached to amma, brothers, aamagarus and baba's.. I now know value of life.. value of relationships...... nothing, not even exams, classes nothing stands in the way of people and me baba....! I always think that i may not get this kind of time with any person again..... not even shiva jaya or anyone else.. what if one of us part ways tmmr? you must be seeing, i dont miss a single thing in brothers life.... Be it drinking, smoking, college.. watever.. I make sure i am there.. Probably baba, at the end of life, this is all matters..! I regret and always think i should spent more time with you.. i should have recorded your voice, i should have travelled more with you...! I should have done so many more things for you.. i have been a failure as a daughter baba.. and i shall not fail as a sister!
Love,
Bhargav
But your departure only left me more attached to amma, brothers, aamagarus and baba's.. I now know value of life.. value of relationships...... nothing, not even exams, classes nothing stands in the way of people and me baba....! I always think that i may not get this kind of time with any person again..... not even shiva jaya or anyone else.. what if one of us part ways tmmr? you must be seeing, i dont miss a single thing in brothers life.... Be it drinking, smoking, college.. watever.. I make sure i am there.. Probably baba, at the end of life, this is all matters..! I regret and always think i should spent more time with you.. i should have recorded your voice, i should have travelled more with you...! I should have done so many more things for you.. i have been a failure as a daughter baba.. and i shall not fail as a sister!
Love,
Bhargav
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